What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Is BPD real or just an excuse?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Do you want to have an XXX chat?

TEXT:

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Do you have any problem dating a younger man?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Who was the guy that had sex with the AIDS monkey?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why are FtM trans just another type of woman?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What was your most embarrassing and humiliating bare bottom spanking?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What are your political and economic beliefs? How did you form them, especially in comparison to those who hold opposing views?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do narcissists devour so much sugar (candy, ice cream, donuts, etc., in huge amounts at a time)?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How do you say "I don't speak Italian yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn Italian with you. Would you like to teach me Italian?" in Italian?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What is the best way to get over your ex?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?